The teacher who wanted me to fail
by Alfonsina Betancourt
The beauty of celebrating New Years Eve lies in the inevitable fact that we need to review our past and imagine what we want in our near future. We would probably benefit from reliving that practice in the following 364 days. However, since I forget to do it as often, I am going to seize the opportunity and put my cards on the table.
2018 was one of those years that take us from the hair and wipe the floor with us. Some kind of personal revolutionary year. The kind that could go on the books for being one of those “tough years.” I have cried so many times while kneeling, I have begged for the blows to stop, I have pleaded to understand why so many things have happened. 2018 was one of those kind of teachers that threaten to make you fail your class with the severity of a dictator. However, not all has been bad, quite the opposite. 2018 has been an incredible year and I am immensely grateful for having had such a demanding instructor. Because the best part of 2018 is that I did not fail, I did not drop. I thrive, I won, I grew, I learned.
I learned, for example, that regardless of the difficulties we need to trust the master plan. I also discovered that we cannot take personal other people's path, even if we walk side by side. We are our most helpful when we understand that being drawn in a spiral along with those we care for do not help them or us, quite the opposite. I have learned to remain strong and hopeful when life screams I do not have reasons to be so. I have practiced how to love openly and deeply even when I am at my lowest and also when I am at highest and those I love are not exactly there. I had remain calmed when the storm surrounded me and also when I have wanted the world to spin at a faster frequency. I have remained vulnerable when all I wanted to was to curl up in a cocoon. I have been very productive, achieving goals I have had for years. I have strengthen relationships, started new and enriching friendships. I have laughed honestly and fiercely. I have danced, I have sung, I have created. I have lived intensely and I have remained hopeful, not because I do not have any other option, but because I have chosen to do so. I have not been perfect, but I have been committed to learning and remaining as present as possible.
I am very grateful for the past year. I am definitely a wiser, better person than who I was a year ago. 2019 is a year of ripping the fruits of my labor and to keep cultivating ties with my fellow humans and specially my lovely family and friends who have been beyond generous and kind with me the past year. Thank you, 2018! You have made my heart swell with love and I can’t wait to hop on the next wagon and ride through 2019 with a baggage full of learnings. I bow to you with due respect and send you off to your place on memory lane. Now I must keep going, my future is calling!