The fearless rider

I am not completely sure where do I get the courage to tell the world a completely shocking fact about myself, but I guess when it became a wonderful learning opportunity for me, it felt almost selfish not to share the recently acquired knowledge with others, even when in the process I make a total fool of myself.

But here I go, world, as unbelievable as it is…I never learned to ride a bike.

I know, it seems like a joke that now at my recently adopted age of 43 I don’t know to do the thing that most kids learn by the time they turn…5? 8?. I never went through that rite of passage, I guess, and it is shameful and high up on my bucket list priorities to address.

Now that the fact is out in the open, I will share why this became relevant during a recent short vacation. While we spent some time in Madrid, our avid bikers friends suggested renting electric scooters to move throughout the city. It was a beautiful crisp Autumn day that surprised you with bright sun rays and a timid cold breeze that only caught us in the shade. It seemed like a perfect plan. The only problem was that learning to ride a bike not only provides us with wonderful visions of leisure strolls through the countryside with a wicker basket hanging from the handlebars full of fresh flowers or a more modern vision of bike rentals in busy cities.  Riding a back actually provides us with a very important skill that I am guessing five-year-old kids might take for granted: balance.

That brisk Autumn day, I found out that besides all the opportunities that my lack of two-wheel skills robbed me of, the most important one was that I truly did not know how to remain stable over the scooter either, regardless that it was electric-powered. To use my son’s favorite word, it felt really “wiggly.”   I felt I was going to fall, so I put my foot down, trying to prevent what seemed like a scarier fall.  Images of all the injuries I had had in the last few years came popping up. I certainly wanted to learn how to glide on the scooter gracefully, but I was terrified to end up with another joint, cartilage, or ligament torn. So I thought that being careful was the only choice.

It turned out I was wrong. When I was practicing where to place my foot while holding the twist grip throttle and being aware of passerby pedestrians, I could only ride for a few seconds at a time. With the support from cheerful friends and pure determination to not let my lack of experience ruin the day, I practiced and practiced and practiced some more.

I soon realized that besides all the technical difficulties, I kept losing my balance because of fear.  In my intent of not falling, I was preventing my body from learning the subtle art of balancing the weight of my body. So if my body leaned right, I did not know how to go back to the center without falling. That was when it hit me.  I was not falling because I did not know how to stay upright, I was falling because I was letting fear be the driver. 

So I breathed, and I realized that if I was able to hold a controlled wiggle, I could ride for longer periods of time. Like a bamboo drawing strength from the subtle movement. I also needed to grab the handle with confidence. Let the body move swiftly to counterbalance the turns and bumps in the road but with firm hands. When I grasped that concept, I was able to ride, and most importantly, I could ride with a smile. I won’t lie in saying that I looked like a veteran smooth scooterer, but I don’t think many people could have said I was not having fun.

Once I got a decent grab of the situation, my mind started wandering off. Isn’t life like a scooter ride? We want to glide through it being in perfect control of the bumpy roads, with a smile on our faces, staying atop without ever touching the floor and going places. While life is full of bumpy roads and also plenty of opportunities to smile, if we are guided by our fear of falling, we rarely go anywhere. But when we grab life by the horns with the same determination that we grab a scooter handle, we tend to have longer rides, and we can sort out obstacles more efficiently.

That crispy October day I was left with a few bruises and with a reminder not to allow fear to drive my life even when I am on new territory when I am a rattling rider, a grown-up learner, a rarity, a minority, a novice. Balance can only be achieved without fear because there is no heavier backpack than trepidation. I guess that is one of the advantages of learning to ride anything at my age, unlike when you are an eager child: it forces us to make it into a life lesson because it does not come naturally. Maybe that is the reasoning behind that famous saying, “It is like learning to ride a scooter…” you never forget how to do it. I certainly will make every intent not to forget to move fearlessly in wherever territory I am walking, riding, or driving and in whatever vehicle. My bucket list is definitely being rearranged, but just in case, if you see me on a bike, just steer away.  And most importantly, never underestimate the power of a woman that has learned to face her fears; you have no idea what a fast learner she can be.