Farewell 2020!

by Alfonsina Betancourt

"Always arrives first

the one who goes lighter.”

Facundo Cabral

I am grateful for 2020! This is not a joke, although for most of it those words sounded like a fictional statement.

How many things happened in one year? There were so many unexpected blows. It brought me to my knees, and it gave me hope. It showed me to drop expectations but to hold on to the faith that things always work on our favor. It taught me to release the “hows” while keeping an eye on the “whats.” It showered me with gifts and it took away precious things I took for granted. It made me cry - a lot - until I thought there will be no end to the tears, and it also showered me with laughs. It allowed me to cross items off my bucket list, and it deliberately taught me that things not always work out as we dream them. It made me doubt my intuition, and as in a hero’s trial, it allowed me to recover it. 2020 was the year where I heard many news I did not want to hear and it also surprised me with news I thought were unlikely. I felt supported by loved ones and I felt alone while I walked through thorny paths. I became a new person and I said goodbye to old structures and beliefs. I learned of the importance of making sacrifices for the greater good and was also moved by small gestures of those around me. I realized many of my dreams were not my dreams anymore, and I also discovered new paths that aligned so beautifully with my soul. I was beaten up, as if a robber would have taken his fury against me while stripping me out of my possessions. But it was in that act that I became lighter, softer, stronger and specially ready to grasp all of the blessings that were always meant for me.

I did not cross all items in my resolutions but I am happy with what I got.

Two months ago I made a new resolution. I would say goodbye to this shitty 2020 with a blast and I was surprised yesterday to find out how I almost felt nostalgic, as if I was saying a farewell to a distant cousin I become fond of. I never dreamt with a year like 2020 but I would not change it, because thank to it I became a master at understanding that the universe has weird ways to teach us to surrender and that even through hardship we become who we were always meant to be.

As one of my favorite poems by Jose Angel Buesa says:

"I tell you good-bye, and perhaps, with this farewell,

my most beautiful dream dies inside me…

But I tell you good-bye, for all my life,

although all my life I will continue thinking of you.”

So goodbye 2020. You were a hard teacher but I have never been so proud of myself for passing a test. I did not only passed, I thrived. And now lighter and freer I am ready to welcome your younger sister, a New Year fresh and familiar at the same time, and possibly everything my soul needs.

photo: @ashimagiraffe