To See or Not to See...that is the question
The Unbearable lightness of being made me fall in love with Milan Kundera's writing when I was 20. This quote has always accompanied me since then, and I have always gone back to it when I need an Ego Check. Then it showed up recently, so here it is in case anybody feels inclined to examine the kind of eyes we need to be seen by. Because as humble as we want to be, feeling invisible can be heartbreaking. On the other hand, few things are more powerful than feeling as we are suddenly seen, soul-to-soul, eyes-to-eyes. Whatever we focus on suddenly comes to light: the good, the bad, the important, the meaningless. Seeing and being seen can be the breaking point between being and not. So, let's take a good look at the world around us, and let's turn the lights on.
Milan Kundera
“We all need someone to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under. The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public.
The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. They are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. This happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. People in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need.
Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark.
And finally, there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers.”